I parody media hit job on small town elderly pro-marriage librarian

Suburban Chicago newspaper The Daily Herald reporter Russell Lissau wrote a hit job on a little old lady, a librarian in a small town, because she opposes redefining marriage to include same-sex couples, polygamy, children, animals, and whatever else Lissau probably embraces. You can read his screed here.

Reading it, I couldn’t help but wonder, would he have written the same thing about an anti-marriage librarian? Let’s have some fun with this parody of the article that Lissau would NEVER write:

Lake Co. library leader assails gay traditional marriage

The leader of a Lake County library district board on Tuesday assailed plans to legalize gayprotect the definition of marriage in Illinois.

PolygamyAbolishing divorce will be next,” Bonnie Quirke, the president of the Libertyville-based Cook Memorial Public Library District board, told the Daily Herald. “Is that really what we want? Is that really what they want?”

Quirke’s comments came during an interview prompted by posts she’d made on Facebook. In the interview, Quirke said she opposes the effort because it redefinesrestricts the word “marriage.”

“The whole purpose of marriage isn’t reproduction, it’s love,” Quirke said. “Two people of the same sex can’tcanreproduceturn to adoption and surrogacy.”

When asked about other forms of parenting available to same-sex couples, such as adoption and surrogacy marriage being illegal, such as marrying more than one person, or one’s parents, siblings, first cousins, children, developmentally disabled individuals, animals, and inanimate objects, Quirke remained resolute.

“Is that really in the best interest of children, to be raised by two men or two women one man and one woman?” she said.

Quirke also insisted gay men don’t maintain monogamous relationships.

“There may be a coupleare no exceptions, the AIDS crisis of the 1980s wasn’t caused by rampantly promiscuous gay men engaging in unprotected butt sex, but they’re not (monogamous),” she said.

The General Assembly approved legislation that would allowban gay marriage Tuesday. The plan now heads to Gov. Pat Quinn.

Quirke, of Libertyville, has served on the library board since 2005 and has been its president since 2010. She’s also a leader in the anti pro-abortion movement in Lake County and Illinois.

Quirke said her views on homosexualityheterosexual marriage haven’t affected her ability to serve the library district. She’s never tried to keep books on the subject out of the collection, she said.

“I think I’ve been a very good, strong advocate for the library,” she said.

Cook Memorial Public Library District Director Stephen Kershner said he doesn’t share Quirke’s opinions but defended her right to express them. He isn’t concerned her views on gay rights are shaping library policy.

“There are seven elected board members, and policies are made by the majority of the board, not by an individual board member,” Kershner said.

Mitchell Locin, a spokesman for the gay-rightsmarriage defense group Equality IllinoisNational Organization for Marriage, called Quirke “out of touch” with the people of Illinois.


Lissau’s article is one of the increasing attacks in a culture war that seeks to intimidate and subjugate anyone who doesn’t conform to the dictatorship of relativism.

Start out small, with a little old lady in a small town, then work your way up. When they (ultimately, Catholics, orthodox Jews, and Mohammedans) don’t give in, those enemies of the human race must be eliminated, systematically, for the good of society, in the name of freedom and equality.

Three years ago, Chicago archbishop Francis Cardinal George made the following prophetic statement:

“I expect to die in bed, my successor will die in prison and his successor will die a martyr in the public square. His successor will pick up the shards of a ruined society and slowly help rebuild civilization, as the church has done so often in human history.”

Pray for Mr. Lissau. Pray for Ms. Quirke. Pray for the conversion of sinners, heretics, and non-believers. Pray for yourselves, your priests, bishops and your pontiff, that we will have the courage to embrace persecution, suffering, and martyrdom, whether white or red.


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